Of Words That Should Have Been Spoken

Therapist says I'm depressed because I haven't made a decision about what lifestyle I want.
Hmmmmm I thought I did that back in **** when I put my hand in his and he made me promises.
But that has been some time ago. And folks forget. Or rather, perhaps the priest should have said as he married us, 'BTW New Husband do not look at porn in twenty years' But the priest didn't. And the man did. So now who do I blame? The priest for his lack of prescience?
The man for being human? Or myself for the apparent inability to just get over it?
Of the three, I'd say the priest was the least culpable.
My mother was married four times. Being a thoughtful and watchful child, I decided early on that all that drama was not for me. Once was enough I thought. For keeps.

When you're young you have this image of your life:
That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife.
And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross,
And if you happen to you wake completely lost.~Missy Higgins

That's where I am now. And not being the plucky heroine of my own story.
I'm disappointing myself. Before, I really thought I was stronger, braver and more resourceful than I've turned out to be.
If you've ever wondered what depression feels like, imagine it to be the heaviest burden you have ever, ever carried in all your life.