If you have expectations that aren't being met (even after you have communicated them to the very best of your ability) then at some point you must rid yourself of those expectations.
That is what I have done today with a long standing issue. Since I couldn't change the problem, despite sincere efforts, I changed me.
I was tired of being hurt and disappointed more times than not. I was tired of communicating on the issue without seeing any change. So I changed.
It was interesting to see the reaction when I shared this. My interpretation of this reaction was part aggravation but also some relief. Which I understand. It has to be tough to be the one disappointing, not meeting expectations. The issue has gone on for so long that I have come to believe there will not be a resolution to it that will make me happy.
So to achieve any peace I must change me and my expectations. When I decided to do this I had some regret because I had held out hope for so long. The other feeling I had was gratitude that the negative feelings of hurt and disappointment would leave me. It was hard carrying the heaviness of spirit they engendered.
In another matter disappointment surfaced. A friend disappointed me. But after I thought about it, I realized this friend was acting as she was capable and without all the facts. These are facts that I won't provide her because setting out dirty laundry is not a classy way to behave. My friend has a tender heart. I am sure she feels she is championing the under dog. Since I have always admired my friend's tender heart I must in this case as well. Still it is hard to have someone you care about not giving you the benefit of the doubt. I had hoped I had demonstrated enough love and loyalty to her that a measure of them could be returned to me on faith. But it is quite possible that how I choose to behave is a disappointment to her.
Life is a learning experience.
I am it's student.
No comments:
Post a Comment