Heartfelt

It isn't a secret I have depression. I take meds for it and go on with my life. This is something that runs in my family. Depression isn't a bad day, a grumpy mood or being dumped by a boy/girlfriend. Depression is a heaviness of spirit, a blackness inside that filters all you see on the outside. It affects every good thing in your life. It is a physical thing as well, weighing you down, slowing you down and sometimes stopping you entirely.

I have been in many dark places with this disease. Places that are so nightmarish I find it hard to even contemplate them. Creative people seem to be burdened with this disproportionately.
I don't know why -maybe there is research on it I don't know about.
I know there are theories about why people have depression. A chemical imbalance in the brain is one I'm familiar with but I am positive there are many more.

I don't know why I have depression in particular. But I do and I have to figure out a way to cope. I am very grateful for the medication I take-Wellbutrin. It works and I don't have side effects that I have had with other meds. But every once and awhile the Wellbutrin could use some augmentation and then I have to make a decision. Wait out the bad period or augment. Lately my choice has been to wait it out because other meds have side effects I'd rather avoid.

Through Twitter I have met another artist with depression. I know what he is going through. It is a comfort to say to him that, on whatever day , the depression is kicking my ass and have him respond. And it almost doesn't matter what he says-he responds and he knows what I'm going through.
This has meant a lot to me but I have been too shy to say this to him. So what I did was buy one of his pieces that spoke to me of being uplifted.
And that is my heartfelt wish for both of us-that we continue to be uplifted.