Tomorrow a big event will happen in my life. One I have dreamed about for the longest time. A dream come true you might say.
But it has come in the wake of a change in my life I did not anticipate or want and that part beings me to my knees with grief and sadness.
I have not shared this with many people. The ones that know respond in a puzzled way which I understand. Like many other things in my life this event is not regulation.
I am also trying to process this and have had my ups and downs. So strange to realize a long held dream could also bring me grief. I don't think I could have gone forward with this if not for the sad change in my life so, in effect, this would not have been happening without the sadness that went before. It is hard to separate the two events. I know the best way to handle things is to focus on all the good aspects this event will bring. It's just that tonight the sadness overwhelms and the fear as well.
One event that illustrates the dichotomy of change.