Bear Necessities

I'm trying to give myself a pep talk about the holidays. Part of my problem with them is the time of year. Winter and I do not have the best relationship. My depression gets worse. I want to stay in and be lethargic. Under blankets if possible.
Not saying this is a bad thing once and awhile but unless one is a bear hibernation until the spring isn't practical.
So getting through is my next option. I remember telling my older son to enjoy all the aspects of Christmas not just the gifts. That this would give him more to enjoy and make him happier.
I try to do this as well. The lights, music, food and additional socializing are fun for me.
Still, Christmas when your children are grown is a different kind of Christmas. Christmas after and during issues with your spouse is different. I no longer have living parents or in laws.
And thoughts of them are bittersweet.
Shopping is stressful so sometimes I dump more on the spouse then I should. He is very gracious about it. I like to cook but putting together holiday meals involves a lot of planning and work pretty much at the time of year I want to do it least.
This year I have an important person to include in my holiday plans. Someone I don't want to disappoint or let down in any way. Feeling very stressed about that.
I know that my best will have to be good enough. But my best this time of year is getting worse.
And then, next up, my birthday.