Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Today is a Day
Today is a day. Pretty obvious and hardly worth mentioning. Except in my case today is likely the day I will find out if I have cancer. A regular mammogram lead to some additional testing which resulted in a needle biopsy on Monday.
So weird what you notice as you step out of yourself in a moment you didn't expect. The radiologist who did the biopsy looked like Kevin Costner. Sounded just like any boy from home though. Her hands as she held mine were warm for a change. I asked her to keep him updated. Time seemed different as the doctor pulled specimens from my right breast. What was supposed to take twenty minutes took an hour. But it didn't seem that long. I wasn't sure where I went during the biopsy but I don't think I was fully present. I knew she would be anxious and sure enough when the tech went to get her from the waiting room she was standing near it's door. I wasn't sure I had wanted her to go till I laid down on the bed and the tech went to get the doctor. In that moment, the comfort of her presence filled me.
What am I going to do on the day that I'll likely hear if I have cancer? I will shower, drink tea, fix my hair, clean on the refrigerator a bit, make a grocery list, go to the store, pay bills, do laundry, fix dinner and work on my website. A gloriously normal day. Except.
So weird what you notice as you step out of yourself in a moment you didn't expect. The radiologist who did the biopsy looked like Kevin Costner. Sounded just like any boy from home though. Her hands as she held mine were warm for a change. I asked her to keep him updated. Time seemed different as the doctor pulled specimens from my right breast. What was supposed to take twenty minutes took an hour. But it didn't seem that long. I wasn't sure where I went during the biopsy but I don't think I was fully present. I knew she would be anxious and sure enough when the tech went to get her from the waiting room she was standing near it's door. I wasn't sure I had wanted her to go till I laid down on the bed and the tech went to get the doctor. In that moment, the comfort of her presence filled me.
What am I going to do on the day that I'll likely hear if I have cancer? I will shower, drink tea, fix my hair, clean on the refrigerator a bit, make a grocery list, go to the store, pay bills, do laundry, fix dinner and work on my website. A gloriously normal day. Except.
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