We all process everything in our lives through personal filters.
I know this. I even know it as it is happening. But even so it happens.
What I mean is, I have a filter that says I will be lied to and let down.
It's happened and that is where the filter came from.
But what happens when you run the filter on someone who hasn't previously done those things to you? You judge them on your history. Not the history that you both may share but on your own.
Clearly that isn't fair, right or reasonable. But reason doesn't always enter into these things. Instead a kaleidoscope of swirling illogical emotions takes over and everything in you starts saying 'Danger, Will Robinson!' The next thing that happens is either flight or fight. Even if this isn't what you really want. All you know in the moment is it must be done.
It takes a patient person to see through this behavior to what is really going on. It takes a loving person to persist through this behavior. It takes a person with great compassion and faith to see beyond this behavior into the future.
I'm lucky because I have such a person in my life. I'm hoping for both our sakes I can, someday, adjust the filters to reflect current reality.
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