Hoofing It

A few days ago I created a slideshow with music to be a gift. I've watched it multiple times even after I gave it to the person for whom it was intended. I like the music and the photos put together tell a pleasing story. But what really gives me a feeling of contentment was how I was able to sync the music with the images in just the way I wanted. Especially the final notes of the song with the final image. I like the feeling of accomplishment and control.

I am into metaphysics. Metaphysics tells us we create our own reality. So if you can buy into this you then could conclude you have the ultimate control over your life.
I ride that train as much as I'm able because it rings true for me.
On and off since '08, though, I've stepped off the train and hoofed it. I've had to puzzle through some difficult questions and circumstances. Control? It seems to have met it's fate under the wheels of the train. To say I am unhappy with the resulting confusion is to vastly understate it.

I am trying to understand the place I am in. Who I've become and who I wish to be.
Weighty questions for anyone. I don't always like who I've become. I wish I was more.
There are things about me that I do like. As I get older I've become way less judgmental.
I've been able to express love when I've felt it. I enjoy looking past the public personas of people and learning something of their true selves. I enjoy creating art in various forms.

When you ride a train the tracks lead you to an expected destination. But when you are hoofing it you could end up just about anywhere.