Shoo!

I am thinking about the saying 'Get out of your own way'
It is something most of us have heard so frequently it loses meaning.

Is it that we block the way ahead with our physical bodies? Yes and no.
Is it we block the way ahead with our thoughts and beliefs?  Yes.
Is it we block the way ahead through lack of belief? Most definitely yes.

First let me share with you a revelation that has come to me as I've lived life since 2008.
Where you are is perfectly fine. Moreover, there is a reason and purpose for where you are this very moment. So shuck the fucking guilt ok? Does this surprise and shock you? It did me. A good many of us think we are not enough, not doing, adding, contributing enough.
All false. Where you are, what you are and what you are doing right now is enough.
Another piece of good news. You and I are strong enough.
For whatever life chooses to throw at us. How am I so sure about this? Well friend, I am still here to write this and you are still here to read it. We are strong enough.

All of the above paragraph is your gen. eds. You can't go forward until you've learned these things. So accept where you are as where you are supposed to be. Accept and embrace who you are as enough. Accept that your current contribution to life is as it should be.

Get out of your own way so you can move forward. Shoo!

Life is Love

A year ago I wrote this post: 'What's Love Got to Do With It?'

Life moved along to this date and I've carried the question with me. Allowing life to continue to unfold and instruct.

Some observations from this vantage point. The shortest but most complete answer to the question? Everything.
Love has everything to do with it.

I am the most fortunate recipient of love from many. For which, my gratitude knows no bounds. While in that classroom called life I have also been fighting for and obtaining some self love. The Universe works hard at providing for me despite my obvious lack of cooperation. Stubborn, impatient, short fused, I expect I am a challenge.

This past year has brought me love from many different sources. I have taken it. This is important to note. Because without self love I would not be able to receive love. Without self love you wouldn't think you were worth what others have to give. If you don't think you are worthy it's like you've put on that cloak of invisibility from Harry Potter such that love can't find you.

I am worthy of all good things. It is to my credit that I write this and even more that I believe it. Because it is easier to embrace a poverty of spirit. A shallow view promotes this. The view that lives in your ego. Like the little paper umbrella hovering over your cocktail, it shelters, poorly. Leaving you open to false beliefs and self denigration. At the very moment you believe you are worthy of anything it is yours. Problem is a person can say a lot of things but not believe them. So my work this past year has had to do with belief.

And it has been work because I like to make things complicated. Do yourself a favor and just believe that by divine right anything you really want is yours. If you are like me though, life will need to continue to instruct-and it will.
You and I are growing and changing despite ourselves. Life wouldn't have it any other way. Because Life is Love.

Yada, Yada, Yada

Next week I'll have a lumpectomy. Despite the spot being benign two out of two Docs still think it should come out.
It will be an hour long procedure which I'm expecting to go well.

But as I tend to think a lot I have considered the possibility of something going wrong. Probably only natural. When I think about not being here I think back to some words of my Mother. She was contemplating me moving out and said she hoped we had talked enough. So all these years later I echo those words. I hope I have talked enough. To my sons, enough to keep them on their paths secure in the knowledge no one ever loved them more or was prouder of them then their Mother. To my husband, I forgive all hurts and rejoice in the love, laughs and shared memories. To my friends, I feel a profound sense of gratitude to you for sharing my life and loving me. To the girl, well she and I do talk a lot and I hope have said it all, but just in case, I love you, am more thankful for you then you could ever know and acknowledge once and for all, you are fucking adorable.

So there you have some words. Hope they were enough.